What is Sex Therapy?
Sex therapy is based on the assumptions that sex is good, that most people want to have meaningful relationships with interpersonal intimacy, and that all people have equal rights to full expression and enjoyment of healthy sexuality.
Sex therapy is a specialized treatment program focusing on the resolution of sexual concerns. As in any other psychotherapy situation, talking is the mode of treatment. There are no sexual relations nor nudity in the sessions. Clients are encouraged to talk explicitly about their concerns, and with the help of the sex therapist, they learn about the etiology of their issues and explore various options to improve their sexual life.
Sexuality is an integral part of a person's well-being. People who are concerned about their sexual functioning, or by any other sexually-related issue, may feel unhappy, inadequate, insecure, anxious, depressed, or angry. For many people, sexual functioning is closely tied to their total concept of self-identity.
A qualified and certified sex therapist is a highly trained, experienced, and licensed psychotherapist, who is certified by the American Association for Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT), or by the International Association of Psychosexual Therapists (IAPST), or by the Integrative Sex Therapy Institute (ISTI).
AASECT, IAPST, and ISTI have high standards for training, supervision, and work experience with regards to sexual concerns and relationship issues. Health care providers cannot become certified as sex therapists by AASECT unless they are already established, experienced, and licensed general psychotherapists.
“For many people, sexual functioning is closely tied to their total concept of self-identity.”
Sex doesn't happen in a vacuum
Sexual concerns are often the result of other issues. In fact, many times the sexual concern is a symptom of something else that is going on in the person's life/relationship. Hani always says that sex does not happen in a vacuum. Sexual functioning can be impacted by many factors, such as: A bad relationship, low self-esteem, past experiences, depression, anxiety, health issues, medications, stress, negative expectations, and the list goes on. Therefore, Hani always examines various areas of a person's life to determine if and what is the underlying issue(s). In many cases, therapy then focuses on the underlying issue(s), which upon resolution, usually improves the sexual concern(s).
Couple Therapy
In most cases, couple therapy and sex therapy go hand in hand, since the majority of couples have sex, and it doesn't make sense to ignore this important aspect of their relationship. Often, the couple's sexual relations are (at least part of) the issue they want help with.
Sometimes, one partner sends the other to sex therapy, “to get fixed.” However, in a committed relationship, even if it seems that the sexual problem is generated by one of the partners, it helps if both partners take responsibility for improving the situation. It does take two to Tango. Nevertheless, in situations where both partners cannot (or are unwilling to) come to therapy together, Hani works with the one partner on an individual basis.
In couple therapy, Hani helps improve the couple's communication skills, since most people find it very difficult to talk about sex and even about other matters. If you can't talk with each other about sexual issues, how can you have good sex? And, how can you develop new skills? If you can't talk with your partner about things that bother you, prognosis does not look good. This is why communication skills' training and practice are so important.
A similar approach is taken when working with people in a polyamory relationship.
All Adults Are Welcome
- Individuals
- Couples
- Throuples
- All Genders
- LGBTQIA
- Polyamorists
- Kinksters
- MAPs
- Zoos
If you are not on this list, it must have been an oversight
Success of Treatment
Success of treatment depends upon the client's motivation, the nature of the problem, the underlying issues, the therapeutic goals, and the therapist's skills. As in any other psychotherapy setting, sex therapy requires dedication, effort, and consistent participation - during the sessions, and in between sessions, to secure the best results.
Homework assignments, also known as “Home-Play,” are often given to help clients work on their issues between therapy sessions. The use of homework speeds the progress and shortens the number of therapy sessions required to solve the problem(s).
Successful outcome requires the clients' involvement in the process, and commitment to being honest with their feelings. Moreover, it is very important that clients feel comfortable with their sex therapist. A good outcome in psychotherapy relies on rapport, trust, and mutual respect. This is particularly true when working on intimate issues of sexuality.
Achieving the clients' therapeutic goals may require participation in individual psychotherapy, couple therapy, and/or group therapy. Collaboration with a psychiatrist (or other healthcare professionals) for the evaluation and/or management of medications, and for exchanging information and ideas, may be necessary as well.
Examples of Reasons for Sex Therapy
- Relationship and intimacy Issues
- Affairs
- Sexual Desire (too low or too high)
- Sexual Desire discrepancy in the relationship
- Erection Difficulties
- Premature (early) or Delayed Ejaculation
- Orgasm Difficulties
- Painful Intercourse
- Sexual Trauma (for the victim, survivor, partner, and for the perpetrator)
- “Sexual Addiction” better known as Out-of-Control Sexual Behavior
- Gender Issues & Trans Affirming
- Sexual Orientation Issues (including Minor Attracted Persons)
- Asexuality
- Kink and Fetishes
Hani's Approach
Hani utilizes a variety of treatment approaches. She focuses mainly on insight-oriented, behavioral, cognitive, and psycho-educational modalities. Each person, couple, or throuple, etc. is unique; each situation is different; and each concern is distinct. Thus, Hani, together with her clients, tailors a different treatment approach to fit each client's specific needs.
During the first few sessions, Hani evaluates and assesses the situation, and clarifies the problematic areas that need to be further explored. Next, Hani works with her clients as a team, to process information, and to examine, together, various treatment options.
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